Thursday, October 30, 2008

Bear Warning

Bear Warning

The Montana State Dept of Fish and Wildlife is advising golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for grizzly bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Golf Courses. They advise golfers to wear noise producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert, but not to startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in the case of an encounter with a grizzly bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity.

Golfers should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings on the golf course. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings have bells, golf gloves and sunglasses in them and smell like pepper spray.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Think Before Naming Your Child!

Think Before Naming Your Child!

SOME parents can be cruel – or down right stupid – when naming their kids.
SUE AGE - Born Glasgow, 1849.
PETER PIDDLE - Baptized Fowey, Cornwall, 1649.
ENEMA BOTTOMLEY WOOD - Died Huddersfield, 1904.
SEYMOUR BUST - Born Halstead, Essex, 1841.
PLEASANT TITTY - Baptized Margate, Kent, 1768.
(She was named after her mom — so the family had a pair of Pleasant Tittys.)
SEXEY BUTT - Born Dundry, Somerset, 1803.
EFFING DICK - Born Glasgow, 1848.
WILLY MUSCLE - Born Holme, Huntingdonshire, 1685.
GOLDEN BALLS - Baptized Aylsham, Norfolk, 1813.
KENNETH McSHAGGER - Born Scotland, 1841.
WILLIE STRETCH - Born Winsford, Cheshire, 1894.
NANCY BOYS - Born Brighton, 1842.
MAD LOONEY - Died Warwicks, 1894.
CONSTANT PAIN - Born Hackney, London, 1901.
MINNIE BAR - Baptized Galston, Ayr, 1761.
AL DENTE - Born Whitechapel, London, 1900.
POSTHUMOUS MINCE - Died Greenwich, Kent, 1839.
AGNES ETTA PEPPER - Born Ipswich, 1881.
EASTER BUNNY - Born Yorkshire, 1851.
KITTY LITTER - Born Marston, Cheshire, 1839.
HOLLY BERRY - Born Barnsley, 1880.
PEARLY GATES - Married Westminster, 1996.
RICK O’SHEA - Married Kennington, London, 1864.
SENSITIVE REDHEAD - Born Bridlington, E Yorks, 1873.
JIMMY RIDDLE - Born Melrose, Midlothian, 1648
PETE SAKE - Born Cheshire, 1840.
PECULIAR BUTTERY - Married Wolverhampton, 1871.
ALICE MAY FALL - Born Shoreditch, London, 1894.
NICHOLAS STREAKER - Born Durham, 1747.
LETTICE SPRAY - Baptized Greasley, Notts, 1633.
IRIS TEW - Died Chester, 1985.
DICK BRAIN - Born Stoke-on-Trent, 1871.
TURD COLLAR - Born Ireland, 1821.
TERESA FARTWANGLER - Born Usk, Monmouth, 1828.
PHILIP PLONKER - Baptized Shalford, Surrey, 1632.
WILLY LEAK - Born Poplar, London, 1886.
ANICE BOTTOM - Baptized Dewsbury, W Yorks, 1837.
IVA LONGBOTTOM - Born Balby, S Yorks, 1899.
TRANNIE PICKUP - Born Portsmouth, 1853.
SILLY TROLLOPE - Born Doncaster, 1894.
DICK HANDLER - Baptized Earls Colne, Essex, 1585.
JOYCE MOODY NUTTER - Died Braintree, Essex, 2001.
HUGH SWELLING - Born Ireland, 1811.
PHIL GRAVES - Died Rotherham 1879.
DEMOSTHENES CUPPA - Married London, 1886.
BASIL LEAF - Born York, 1895.
LARGE BEE - Born Notts, 1829.
LOW FEE - Married Chorlton, Cheshire, 1908.
COLLY FLOWER - Father of girl married in Soho, London, 1797.
MAUD STALE BUN - Born Sunderland, 1851.
LOW FAT - Married Cardiff, 1905.
FAY KING - Died Bromley, Kent, 1998.
SANDY BEACH - Born East London, 1899.
DAILY BONER - Born Hernhill, Kent, 1898.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Oh yeah...

Oh yeah...
I farted once and it smelled like poo